Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Unvaccinated cat in St. Johns County prompts 60-day rabies alert - News4JAX

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If my heart stopped beating, would I have enough energy to walk out into the other room 20 ft away before I passed out and died?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

How long can I have fake braids in? I want to do it for the whole school year but I don’t know how to keep it intact.

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I see through liars

Do straight guys like to have sex with men when they smoke meth?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

NASA’s CODEX Captures Unique Views of Sun’s Outer Atmosphere - NASA Science (.gov)

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Nintendo will finally reveal more about Donkey Kong Bananza in new Direct - Polygon

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Use of semaglutide linked to doubled risk of neovascular macular degeneration - Medical Xpress

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

“NASA’s Groundbreaking Discovery”: Solar 'Cannonballs' Identified as the Likely Cause of Mars Losing Its Water, Validating a Long-Standing Theory - Rude Baguette

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Eum ipsa id ullam qui.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

How cultural transmission changed across 3.3 million years of human evolution - Phys.org

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t cotton to rapists

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink